


the future is not set in stone

by myrddinthewizard



Series: how to love a liar [9]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: (they're not), M/M, arthur's insecure, basically they're all thriving, haha im joking, leon our favorite therapist, merlin's morality is questionable but he's learning, mordred's a sad boi, no really they're thriving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28864107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrddinthewizard/pseuds/myrddinthewizard
Summary: "I know what you’re trying to do. You know that if I go to Morgana then she’ll know who Emrys is. But you can’t take that, can you? So you’re trying to lure me back to Camelot so that your identity is safe. So that your king is safe.” Mordred snarled.“This is not about Morgana or Arthur. I pushed you away. I made decisions that I’m not particularly proud of.”Mordred shook his head. “You hated me. Don’t think I didn’t see it. You nearly tried to kill me as a child and I still looked up to you. I’m done with that. I always thought that Emrys would be our savior but you’re nothing but a failure.”(aka the mordred reveal)
Relationships: Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), still not together yet sorry
Series: how to love a liar [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058711
Comments: 24
Kudos: 125





	the future is not set in stone

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin BCC
> 
> (read the series in order)
> 
> ~only a small reveal of mordred and the prophecy to arthur at the end but that's okay it counts~

> _“If the boy lives, you cannot fulfill your destiny.”_ \- Kilgharrah to Merlin

“You're leaving.”

Merlin froze, his hands gripping the straps of his bag. He squeezed his eyes shut, cursing under his breath. “Uhh….no?”

“Sometimes, I wonder what goes through your head half the time.”

Merlin carefully turned around to see Arthur leaned against his door frame, arms crossed. “Feelings mutual.”

Arthur jerked his chin over to his packed bag. “Where are you off to?”

The past few weeks had been tense between the two of them, filled with stilted conversations and awkward jokes but they couldn’t fall back into the banter that Merlin missed ever-so much. 

“Just some errands for Gaius.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “You went out for him yesterday. How stupid do you think I am?”

Merlin shrugged, internally begging for Arthur to leave. Why is it that Arthur chose to bother him the one moment he wished that he wouldn’t?

“Merlin.” Arthur pushed off the door and stepped into the room. “Where the hell are you going?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Merlin clenched his teeth. “You’re the one who said to not revolve my life around you.”

“Yeah. But that doesn’t mean you completely push me from your life.”

“Right.” Merlin slung his bag over his shoulder. “That’s what you do, yeah?”

Arthur blocked the door with his body, trapping Merlin inside. His eyes had gone hard and sent shivers down Merlin’s spine. “What is wrong with you? I thought we were making progress.”

“Progress? I’m not the only one who has to change, Arthur. We’ve barely talked these past few weeks so I get it. I took the hint. I don’t know why you chose to bother me now of all days but—”

“I am changing. Yes, I was an ignorant fool before but I’m making changes. I’ve legalized magic—”

Merlin scoffed. “Yeah, and what? You’re done? You think you suddenly deserve a prize for stopping the persecution of millions of innocent lives? That’s no achievement, Arthur.”

“I’m trying to make things right. I’m accepting magic—”

“There’s a difference between accepting magic and being okay with it.” Merlin snapped.

Arthur stepped even closer. “I’ve seen people do magic before. I’ve seen you do magic.”

“And both times, I was saving your life. You have no idea what magic can do. You have no idea what I’m capable of.” Merlin snarled, a sudden bout of irritation crashing over him. He’d wanted nothing more than to be with Arthur again but the past few weeks have just been teetering on the edge of more than strangers and he was getting more frustrated than he would like to admit. He would rather Arthur push him away than hold him at a distance, dragging him along with false hope.

Arthur met Merlin’s eyes. “I’m not scared of you, Merlin.”

Merlin snorted and dropped his bag, moving closer. “So you’ve seen a few parlor tricks from the druids. Face it, Arthur. You know nothing of magic.”

Arthur tilted his chin up. “I—”

Merlin suddenly shoved forward, letting his eyes flood gold. Arthur’s reaction was instantaneous as he stumbled back, sucking in a breath. It was for a fraction of a second, but that was all Merlin needed to see the flash of terror in his eyes. “You might not be scared of me, but my magic is a different story.”

Arthur was silent, his lips pursed. “You’re right. I don’t know anything. But I was hoping that you could help me understand. Can you really blame me? I’ve been raised to fear and hate magic. It’s hard for me to suddenly flip from this to that. I recognize that magic isn’t evil.”

Merlin backed up. “What did the druids say about me?”

Arthur exhaled slowly. “They said that you were my immortal warlock protector. A bit dramatic if you ask me.”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrow. “I am immortal, Arthur. You have no idea of my power.”

Arthur half-shrugged. “I don’t. But you aren’t immortal if you can be killed. And if I’m not mistaken, you are a creature of magic. And you did specifically give me a sword for that.”

Merlin’s eyes dropped to the sword hanging at Arthur’s belt. “Figured it out, did you?”

“I would be lying if I said it wasn’t slightly comforting.”

Merlin swallowed down the sudden stab of pain at those words. “Right. I mean, you never know if I might one day succumb to my naturally evil tendencies as a sorcerer. Must be nice to have a backup plan.”

Arthur frowned. “That’s not what I meant.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, grabbing his bag again. “That’s exactly what you meant. Just because you legalized magic doesn’t mean you’re okay with it. Especially with it being so close to your heart.”

Merlin clenched his fingers. When Arthur had said that they could be friends again, he’d naively thought that everything would go back to normal. He was wrong. It was nothing like before and Merlin was slowly breaking. He was sick and tired of not knowing where he stood with Arthur so he made the decision himself. 

“I have to go, Arthur.”

Arthur stepped forward. “Let me come with you. I know that you don’t need defending but—”

“I thought you were the one who wanted space.”

Arthur stammered. “I did. I do. But I— Are you going to visit Aithusa again or something? I would love to see her.”

Merlin looked away. “Part of it, yeah. But I have other things to do on my own. Make your choice, Arthur. I don’t know what you want from me. But I have my own life. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Before Arthur could reply, Merlin pushed past him and stormed away.

* * *

“I’m being selfish, aren’t I?”

Leon paused, glancing up from the drafts of paper before him. “Arthur?”

Arthur dropped his head in his hands. “I’m the one who asked Merlin to give me space but the moment he wants to leave, I can’t let him go.”

Leon put the drafts down. “Why did you ask Merlin to give you space?”

Arthur sighed, frustrated. “It’s complicated. It’s not my secret to tell. He’ll tell you eventually. Though you’ll probably have to shove it out of him.”

“Give me the general idea.”

“He lied to me. About a lot of things. And I can’t trust him anymore. I told him to leave me alone.”

Leon nodded. “And now you’re realizing that he’s got a life that doesn’t include you and you feel left out.”

“It’s not left out. I’m the one who told him to get a life that didn’t revolve around me. So why am I acting like this? He deserves it and he has every right to go wherever he pleases but he didn’t even tell me where.” Arthur was terrified more than anything that Merlin had given up on him. That since magic was legalized, Merlin’s goal was accomplished and he was leaving. After all, isn’t that why he stayed all these years?

“It’s natural, Arthur,” Leon said, his face sympathetic. “You’re human and once someone who's always been there for you leaves, it takes some time to get used to. You asked him to stay away for a good reason. Believe that and believe that Merlin is finally moving on. It’ll be okay.”

“What if he doesn’t come back? He’s gotten what he wanted and now he realizes that I’m not worth it and he leaves and starts a new life that I’m not a part of and—”

“Arthur. Just because he’s finding his own life, doesn’t mean he’s pushing you out of it.”

“He didn’t even tell me where he was going.”

“And why should he? He doesn’t owe you his whereabouts. It’s not like you told him when you went to go visit the druids.” Leon’s voice was firm and soft.

Arthur gripped his own hair, trying to breathe.

“I think you’ve got to realize that this is not just about Merlin finding his own life. It’s about you and learning how to live without Merlin. Isn’t that the problem in the first place? A healthy relationship is when you can live without the other person. If you physically cannot survive without him, then that’s not love. A healthy relationship depends on the fact that you choose to be with each other, knowing that you can survive without.” 

Arthur shook his head. “I can survive without him.”

“Arthur, you’re losing your mind. He left last night. You cannot depend on someone this much. He’s your friend, I know, but you have to learn to live on your own. I adore Merlin, but you’ve come to depend on him way too much. This isn’t normal.” Leon gripped Arthur’s arm, forcing him to look up.

“Is it selfish of me to want him back? To want him to always be by me? I don’t need him to dedicate his life to me but it was nice in a way. To always have him to fall back on.” Arthur whispered.

“You should always depend on people and have close friends to fall back on. And I never realized it before, but you and Merlin aren’t just depending on each other. You depend on me and trust me, yeah? But Merlin did everything for you. And there’s a point when that selflessness isn’t a good thing anymore. I won’t pretend to know what it is that Merlin did to lose your trust, but he needs this. You need this. As Arthur and as the king. You cannot fall apart because the man you love has his own life.” Leon said.

Arthur gave a bitter snort. “I know. I know. I just— I feel like he’s giving up on me and—”

Leon pushed the papers away and leaned over the table. “Arthur. Listen to me. I see the way you look at each other. That’s something that can’t be faked. But you have to understand. These past few weeks, Merlin’s been a disaster. I’ve barely talked to him since but I could tell. It’s natural. But if you want a life together, you both have to learn to live on your own first. This isn’t about love or trust anymore. This is about you. Your life cannot be dictated by one person. No matter who that is.”

Arthur met his gaze. “I can’t do this without him.”

“Then learn to. And once you learn, and you will, then you can figure out what to do next. Don’t push yourself into someone else’s life without knowing how to live your own.” 

Arthur gripped Leon’s hands and pressed his forehead into it. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I have to forget about him.”

“You don’t have to forget. You just need to move on regardless. I know you want Merlin to go and do something for himself. Let him go.”

“I will.” Arthur let out a heavy sigh. “I will.” 

* * *

Merlin closed his eyes and felt his presence. He pressed a palm into the bark of a tree and sought out his voice among the thousands crowding in his mind. He crept forward and caught sight of Morgana’s castle towering in the distance. He had to be here somewhere. 

A sudden rush of water trickled through his thoughts and Merlin inched forward to push through the bushes. There, at the shore, was a young man. His bare feet were in the water and his eyes were focused on a point that Merlin couldn’t quite decipher.

_Mordred._

Mordred didn’t move. He simply rested his hands on his knees. Merlin moved forward, urging him to respond. _Mordred._

After what felt like an eternity, Mordred’s voice drowned out his thoughts. _Emrys._

Merlin toed off his boots and settled into the water beside him. Mordred didn’t look up, though his shoulders tensed immediately. “I was afraid you’d already gone to Morgana.”

Mordred gave a bitter laugh. “I was considering it. I still am.” He looked up. “How did you find me?”

Merlin shrugged. “It wasn’t hard. You were practically begging to be found.”

Mordred didn’t reply. Merlin took in a breath and forced himself to forge on. “I was once in love. Just like you were. Her name was Freya.”

Mordred’s jaw clenched. “Was?”

Merlin dragged his fingers through the water, watching it ripple. “Arthur killed her. Much like he killed your love.”

Mordred’s head shot up. It was only then that Merlin realized that his eyes were bloodshot. “He killed the girl you loved?”

A bitter smile spread across his face. “He did. She was a druid brought in by a bounty hunter. She was hurting people. It wasn’t her fault but Arthur had to do what was good for the kingdom. I had smuggled her out and foolishly thought that I could give her a life. I ended up getting her killed.”

“And you forgave him? For what he did to you?”

“Yeah. People were getting hurt and he did what he thought was right. I was angry but I understood. Kara attempted to take Arthur’s life. And if I’m being honest, I don’t blame her. She was young and scared and Arthur had persecuted her kind.”

Mordred snorted. “If you didn’t blame her then why did you stop me from trying to save her?”

“Arthur didn’t kill her because she was a druid. He gave her multiple chances to apologize but she—”

Mordred scoffed and stood up. “Right. You don’t blame her but at the end of the day, her life means nothing if your king is happy.”

Merlin followed. “This is not—” Merlin took a deep breath. “Arthur legalized magic. He’s making changes. Kara didn’t realize that and that’s what caused her downfall. She made her choice and she knew exactly what she was doing. She welcomed death with open arms.”

Mordred pulled back. “You don’t know her. Don’t act like you know what happened.”

“Mordred—”

“I know what you’re trying to do. You know that if I go to Morgana then she’ll know who Emrys is. But you can’t take that, can you? So you’re trying to lure me back to Camelot so that your identity is safe. So that your king is safe.” Mordred snarled.

“This is not about Morgana or Arthur. I pushed you away. I made decisions that I’m not particularly proud of.”

Mordred shook his head. “You hated me. Don’t think I didn’t see it. You nearly tried to kill me as a child and I still looked up to you. I’m done with that. I always thought that Emrys would be our savior but you’re nothing but a failure.”

Merlin stumbled back, his eyes stinging. “I’m sorry. I’ve made mistakes. I let myself be pushed around and manipulated but I’m done listening to stupid dragons. I’m trying to make things right—”

“It’s too late for that. I don’t care if Arthur is making changes or if magic is legalized. He killed the girl I was in love with. And you helped him.”

“He killed a naive girl who was given multiple chances to save her life. Nothing could've stopped her. She was far too gone. But you’re not. I’m not failing you again. I won’t.” Merlin said, moving forward.

Mordred scoffed. “So what? You’re here to save me? You think I’m some ragdoll you can toss aside and then come back to weeks later to try and fix?”

“Mordred—”

“Just answer me one thing. Why did you hate me so much? What is it that I did that made you, the one person I actually believed in, turn on me?” Mordred’s voice trembled and Merlin’s heart nearly broke.

“I— I was led to believe that you would play a part in Arthur’s death. I’ve seen the future, Mordred. And I foolishly thought that if I pushed you away then you would leave Arthur alone. And now everything is falling apart and I—”

“So that’s why you’re here. To stop me from killing Arthur?

“No. I mean, yes, but no. I should never—” Merlin took in a deep breath. “All I ever wanted was to keep Arthur safe. And I was told that you would be a threat to that—”

“So you decide to kill me? What is wrong with you? Life isn’t black and white, Emrys. If it’s prophesied then there’s nothing you can do to stop it. In fact, you can kill me right now. You know you can. I could never win.” Mordred spread out his arms invitingly. “Keep your king safe, hmm?”

Merlin pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Mordred—”

“No. Clearly, you chose your loyalties.”

“I never owed you my loyalties,” Merlin yelled, pulling his hands away. “I never promised to protect you or your people.”

“My people? They’re your people too, Merlin.”

“No, they’re not. Just because you believe me to be your great leader doesn’t mean I am. I’m not a druid and I certainly don’t owe them anything.”

“What about those with magic? You can help them but you’re so fixed on Arthur that you don’t care about anyone else, do you?” Mordred snapped, his eyes hard.

“I gave my loyalties to him. I’ve been by his side my entire life. It’s not my fault if I don’t meet your ridiculous expectations. I’m sorry if I didn’t save every single magical person I met or saw and I’m sorry if I’m a failure in your eyes but I never asked to be Emrys and I shouldn’t have to burden all of the lives lost. That is not my fault.” Merlin’s voice trembled.

Mordred rolled his eyes, looking away. “So you’re just being selfish then? You’ll abandon everyone and everything in this world if Arthur’s safe.”

“Don’t talk about abandonment. I understand if you’re angry at me for what happened with Kara but she signed her own death warrant. But the rest of them in Camelot have done nothing to you. Arthur has done nothing to you.”

“He killed the girl I loved!” Mordred yelled.

“He did the same to me! You think that gives you the right to betray every single person there? You want to go join Morgana and try to destroy the kingdom? That’s selfish, Mordred. Arthur took you in and saved your life as a child. He made you a knight and gave you a life. All Morgana will do is lead you down a darker path and I’m not letting you do that. You want to go tell Morgana who I am? Go for it. Honestly, I beg you to do it since I can’t find the courage to do it myself. I’ve made mistakes but I’m trying to make up for it and save you before you lose yourself.”

Mordred swallowed roughly, his eyes glinting in the light.

“You don’t have to come back to Camelot. But the people there loved you. You’re a good guy and I’m sorry if I pushed you away. I’ve been manipulated my whole life and I can’t let the same thing happen to you. I’ve failed the druids and I failed Morgana. I know that. I can’t fail you too.” Merlin whispered.

Mordred looked away. “Go, Merlin. You can’t help me.”

“You’re still so young—”

“I’m not— You can’t save me. I don’t belong in Camelot.”

“Maybe not.” Merlin agreed. “But that doesn’t mean you have to go to Morgana. She— she can’t help you.”

“And you can?” Mordred challenged, meeting his eyes.

Merlin let out a sigh. “I don’t know. It’s up to you if you want to let me try. I know that I’m not the Emrys you believed I would be. But magic is legal now and I promise that I'll do my best to make sure no one else gets hurt in Camelot. But don’t throw your life away because of my failures. Come back home.”

Mordred backed away, all the anger draining from his face. “Why now? I’ve been gone for weeks.”

“A few people have told me that I revolve my life around Arthur too much.”

Mordred snorted. “No really?”

“Shocking, right? I’ve spent so long trying to make him a great king and now magic is legalized and he’s turning into an amazing ruler without me.”

“And you needed a purpose so you came to me as your side project.”

“No.” Merlin carefully sat back down. “There are so many things that I wasn’t able to do since I was running around after Arthur for so long. It wasn’t until he pushed me away that I realized that I let myself become something that I wasn’t particularly proud of.”

Mordred looked up. “And you want to make amends.”

“It’s never too late to do the right thing. I never gave you a chance to prove yourself. And if you’ll let me, I’d like to.”

Mordred was silent for a while. “I put you up on a pedestal my whole life. I believed that you would be my savior and you would always, always have my back. I guess somewhere along the way I forgot that you’re still human. You never deserved the expectation I had for you. You should be allowed to make your own decisions. Don't get me wrong though, I’m still pissed off.”

Merlin laughed softly. “Yeah. I don’t blame you.”

A small smile flickered at Mordred’s mouth. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“We all lose our way sometimes. We just have to hope that there are people around us to fall back on. And I know you don’t think the best of me, but I’ll always be there for you. Whether you believe me or not.”

“I don’t believe you. I’m not going back to Camelot, though.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to.” Merlin said, chewing on his lip.

Mordred looked back over the stream. “So was I the first person you’ve failed or do you have more appointments for today?”

“You’re not funny.”

Mordred simply raised an eyebrow.

“I do have something actually. She’s not exactly a person but I think you’d like to meet her.” Merlin reached out carefully and offered him a hand. 

Mordred’s gaze flicked down. “Not a human?”

“Her name is Aithusa. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get to her before she got to Morgana. I don’t why you all seem to do that.”

“Well, Morgana is the next best option.”

“She’s really not. Aithusa’s healing from some wounds but she should be somewhere around the woods. She hasn’t gotten out much.”

“What is she? Is it safe for her to be roaming around alone?”

Merlin smirked. “She’s fine. She’s meant to be in the wild. Besides, I do have a protection spell on her until she’s older.” He wiggled his fingers. “Want to visit?”

Mordred hesitated. “She’s not a dragon, is she? Because I’ve heard rumors about a small white dragon that Morgana adopted and I really don’t want to see a dragon.”

Merlin laughed, leaning closer. “You’ll never know if you don’t come. I do need to make sure she’s eaten.” 

“What does she eat?”

“Misguided druid boys, obviously.”

Mordred rolled his eyes and then slipped his hand into Merlin’s before he could think better of it. “Well, I have to meet her now.”

Merlin’s heart instantly expanded and he squeezed Mordred’s fingers. A type of calm washed over him. “You won’t regret it.”

Mordred’s smile faltered ever so slightly, a more vulnerable look entering his eyes. “I sure hope not.”

* * *

Arthur was sitting on the steps in front of the castle when Merlin came back. It had been just a few days and the sun was just moments away from setting. Merlin had a bit of a skip to his step and Arthur’s heart squeezed at the light in his eyes. He looked happy. Merlin slowed down when he noticed Arthur’s, his face immediately going blank.

Arthur pushed himself to his feet and waited until Merlin stopped before him. 

“Were you waiting for me?”

“What, no! Why would I be waiting for you?” The words left Arthur’s mouth and came off harsher than he meant it.

Merlin flinched. “Right. Well, I’ve got to go—”

“Wait—” Arthur grabbed Merlin’s arms but jerked back when Merlin’s eyes went hard. “I’m sorry. I didn’t— I was waiting for you. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Merlin paused, his eyes softening. “I’m okay, Sire. Now if you don’t mind, I need to freshen up.”

Arthur swallowed the lump in his throat. “Of course. I just wanted to—”

Merlin raised an eyebrow, slightly amused.

“Did I do something to offend you? Or have you given up on me or something because I know that you have things to do but you’ve barely talked to me and I guess that now that you’re free there’s really no use so I—”

“Woah.” Merlin backed up to completely face Arthur. “What are you talking about? There’s no use?”

Arthur shrugged, his face heating up. “I mean, I thought we were getting somewhere but you’re barely talking to be and—”

“Why would I? I was only giving you space because I thought you didn’t trust me. You said you wanted to be friends but it’s like we’re strangers and I can’t do that.”

“So you’re giving up on me?”

Merlin dropped his bag, moving closer. “No. Jeez, Arthur. What is up with you? I would never give up on you. I’m yours. I thought you wanted me to do my own thing but—”

“I do. It just feels like you’re pushing me out and—”

Merlin snorted. “Don’t be stupid and get all insecure. I would never push you out or give up on you. You know that. You’re the one who said it wasn’t healthy how much I did for you. What do you want from me?”

Arthur pulled back. “Nothing. I’m sorry. Just, you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. Magic is legalized and you fulfilled your destiny so–”

“Arthur.” Merlin cut him off. “And you call me stupid. I wasn’t here all these years so magic could be legalized. I was here for you. I’m ecstatic that I’m free but that wasn’t my goal. All I wanted was to make you a good king. And I’d like to think I succeeded. And now I’m moving on and finding my purpose. That doesn’t change anything between us.”

“You didn’t even tell me where you were going.” Arthur’s voice was small.

“That’s what worried you? Arthur, I was just angry. I didn’t know what you wanted from me because you’re telling me to get my own life but you won’t let me go.”

“Merlin—”

“I went to see Mordred.”

Arthur’s face abruptly changed. “You did what?”

“You do know he’s a druid, right?”

Arthur pulled back. “He’s what?”

Merlin suddenly snorted. “Oh my god, Arthur. Do you not remember the small druid kid we saved all those years back?”

Arthur’s jaw dropped almost comically. “Shut up. That’s the same Mordred?”

“How many Mordred’s do you know?”

Arthur inhaled sharply. “I let a druid into my ranks.”

“You did. It wasn’t his fault. Any of what happened. I talked to him and we’re okay now. Ish.”

Arthur looked up. “Wait, if he’s a druid then he knew you were Emrys. Druids can recognize you on sight, right?”

Merlin tilted his head. “Yeah. We weren’t really close. There’s this other prophecy that Mordred is destined to kill you. So I wasn’t the nicest to him.”

Arthur frowned. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Do you remember the Disir? You had to choose between magic and Mordred. And you asked me what I would do in that situation.”

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. “You said magic had no place in Camelot. Oh my god, I forgot about that. Why would you say that?”

“If you chose not to accept magic, then I believed Mordred wouldn’t live. Of course, it didn’t turn out that way but—” Merlin shrugged, looking away.

“Why would you—”

“Mordred was destined to kill you. And if there was a chance for me to keep you safe, regardless of what that meant for me and other magic users, I would take it. No hesitation.” Merlin’s eyes shone with tears. “My own freedom was never my priority. You were. So don’t ever think that I’m giving up on you.”

Arthur couldn’t breathe. His mind raced and all he could see was the almost cold look in Merlin’s eyes as he condemned a man to death, just to save another.

“I don’t regret trying to save your life. But I went about it the wrong way. I met with Mordred and we’ve come to a truce. Just because he’s destined to kill you doesn’t give me the right to try and kill him. I thought it was all black and white but it’s not.”

Arthur took in a shaky breath. “A truce?”

“It took me some time to realize it. I’ve spent most of my life trying to make you into a great king. But that’s not why I’m here. Arthur, this goes both ways. I know that I’ve put a lot of my own worth on you but you can’t do the same for me.”

“Merlin—”

“I understand what you were saying before. You asked me to let you go. I’m finally getting there. Maybe it’s time you let me go as well?”

Arthur’s eyes stung with unshed tears. “I can’t lose you. Maybe it’s selfish of me but I—”

“You know it’s not healthy. You’re the one who told me that. This isn’t love.” Merlin gestured between them. “We’re just two people who were destined to be together and mistook it for something real.” 

Arthur’s lips curled slightly. “Right. So we’re starting from scratch.”

“Yeah. And that means that we don’t push each other away. We actually have to make an effort, though.”

Arthur nodded. “Right. And no more killing innocent people because of what they might do in the future. We do need to talk about that later.”

Merlin laughed. “Of course. I do have some morals, Arthur.”

“Questionable.”

“Don’t act all high and mighty. You’re the one who came out here crying because you thought I was leaving you.” Merlin’s eyes sparkled.

Arthur scoffed and pulled back. “Don’t even. I wasn’t worried.”

Merlin’s lips quirked up. “Right. Of course, my lord.”

And though his returning smile didn’t reach his eyes, it was blinding. 

_\--0-o-0--_

**Author's Note:**

> not me making them suffer even more~
> 
> (it's become a problem, really)
> 
> note: i made mordred more misguided than evil since canon mordred really didn't make sense to me. i mean he really just betrayed all of camelot for something kara was basically begging for. just my opinion though.


End file.
